Young people worldwide having more unsafe sex - Health - Sexual health - msnbc.com

Young people worldwide having more unsafe sex - Health - Sexual health - msnbc.com

So here's a disturbing trend that I think needs some addressing. I have a 6yo daughter and a 2yo son, and I plan to equip them with as much knowledge as I possibly can when the subject of sex comes up. I'm not going to be one of those Bible-thumping Christians who bury their collective heads in the sand and ONLY preach abstinence. The truth is this: you can tell your child all you want that NOT having sex is the only way to be 100% sure he/she won't get pregnant or contract an STD. If they truly want to have sex, they will... despite the logic of abstinence.

You wanna know why I know? My mom did the same thing to me. I had sex anyway.

She flat out refused to answer any of my questions about sex when I was 9 years old. She said that I was too young to "know" any of "that." Guess what? By that age I'd already overheard "that" stuff on the school bus. So in my 9yo way I called bullshit. What did I get? I got sent to my room, that's what. I learned the rest of the biological details when we had sex ed in the 6th grade. I learned even more when I became a peer counselor in 10th grade. Where was my dad? Well, he was like most dads in the 70's and 80's. He thought moms should talk to daughters about all that stuff... while he had a talk with the boy. You know. Old school. However, he was much more willing to answer my questions than my mom was, and aside from feminine questions, I gleaned a lot from the knowledge he shared with me.

There are ways to broach the subject with young children without getting into the details. I think if you start with openness and honesty, that can't hurt. Don't tell your kiddos that the stork brought them home to you in a pink or blue blanket, and don't be afraid to own your own past indiscretions in the sex department, either. Sans the gory details, of course.

I plan to be honest with my kids. Yes, I had sex before I was married. Yes, I wish I had waited until I was older. Yes, sex is awesome. But I also plan to tell them about condom use, about how boys usually have one thing on their minds, how girls often equate sex with love, and about how self respect and self confidence will get them further than just about anything else. I also plan to tell them that oral and anal sex (these were not even discussed when I was in school!) are NOT healthy alternatives for teens despite what they'll hear from today's sex ed materials. In fact, by the time they DO hear it, I expect things to be even more different.

Will I deliver all of this sex info flawlessly and in an English accent? No. I won't. You know what? I'm okay with that. Will I be the FIRST one to tell them any of this? Probably not. Kids are hearing things earlier and earlier these days. That's scary. But I'm the parent. I am responsible for teaching them responsibility.

According to this article, young people just don't feel empowered enough. That needs to change. The more information people have, the better they'll be able to make informed decisions. If you give them all that info and they then decide to be STUPID, then that's on them.

I know I sound pretty preachy here, but it's really simple: you own it, Parents. Don't rely on public education to give your children the real deal on sex. You can still advocate abstinence, as I plan to do, but don't be so stupid to think that will be enough. Equip your children as much as you can.